Friday, December 23, 2016

bad timing

seriously, my love life is cursed with bad timing. 

two years ago, I confessed to a guy on the exact date when he flew back to his country. the relationship was only going on thanks to the Internet and chatting applications. at the end of the relationship, when I called it quit, he said our relationship had been more of a long conversation rather than a relationship. 

it left a huge scar in my heart. it still hurts every now and then, when I think of everything we could have done and could have been. when I think of everything we have been through, and it was not just "a long conversation". 

but I guess, he has already moved on. I knew it, because this year, I did not receive any birthday email.

I should also stop sending him letters. 

the second one came two months before its end. it has not ended yet, but deep down inside we know it will. it feels like we are getting closer to a deadline in the next six weeks, and the thought of it terrifies me. I am scared to the point of being unable to deliver any confessions, because anything derived from such hasty action will only cause much more heartbreaks for both of us. 

but I know my feelings are reciprocated. 

"everything will be gone soon."

"probably not the way our hearts beat."

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